If there is someone in your hall with the last name Quinn, wouldn't it be natural that you call him "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman"?
Why does my History professor think he is so hilarious when no one else thinks so? Where does he get these preposterous ideas? This seems like something that would be stifled during childhood.
If your room has 5 enormous Beatles posters on the walls and someone walks in and asks "So...do you like the Beatles?", is it OK to hurl things at them?
If someone brings a girl to guy's poker night, how many days should you shun them?
If your roommate uses every sentence to comment on how perfect his girlfriend is, at what point can you start stealing his stuff?
If you have a 3 page paper to write, should you be blogging?
If you forget all of your ankle-high socks at home and only have ones that stretch 3/4 up your shins, do you wear them and risk looking like a loser or do you just go without socks?
If you have 5 posters on your wall but your roommate still has none, at what point can you officially conclude that he is a weirdo?
Why did 5 people in our hall decide that this weekend would be the time to bring some Double-Stuf Oreo's? I'm not complaining or anything, but it was a little freaky.
Why do we have to have a land line phone in our room? It seems useless.
If you are a Calculas professor and you lost one of your hands in an accident a few years back but had it reattached, should you share this with your class? Or should you just keep it to yourself because it may be all that the class is able to focus on from now on?
Why does every girl know how to iron clothing? Again, I'm not complaining.
If someone in your hall brings a large plant to school and names it, should you be friends with this person? Should you be friends with the plant?
If you keep a large jar of Starburst on your desk, are you just asking me to eat them all?
If your roommate calls everyone his "best friend", including a Dell operator from the Philippines by the name of Nim.....I don't even have a question here.
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6 comments:
this is hilarious
This sucks
nice work matt. this should be a regular series.
yes,reasonable,obviously,3 days,soon, doesn't really matter now, risk it, no comment, cuz Oreos are awesome, especially with twice the goodness, dont know don't care, tell it, cuz theyre girls, yes and yes, obviously, and wow.
sure? that's strange. absolutely. ummm honestly, probably 4 or 5...whenever you want. probably not but who cares? pshhh why not? as soon as possible. because they're the way to go. don't know? definitely keep it to himself...it's not that hard really. absolutely, to both person and plant. mhmm. that's odd...
Absolutely.
You would think. But then again, attractive people get away with a lot. Maybe he was attractive once. Weirder things have happened.
No, clearly having that many fucking posters of the same things is ridiculous and warrants a ridiculous question. It's even safe to assume you could have been trying to be ironic, housing a severe dislike for the Beatles, and displaying them for your own sick pleasure. It would be like me owning a Twilight shirt. Which I do, for said purpose.
None if he got laid. Six if he did not, because 6 is a typical period.
You share a room, that is grounds enough for theft. Why create an excuse?
Absolutely.
Wear them folded under you feet. Problem solved. Also, look into "pants that reach the shoe when worn".
Yeah, that is creepy. Perhaps start calling him Old Greg?
It's always okay for multiple people to have oreos.
Agreed. Literally a week after seeing paranormal activity, someone called our landline looking for a Micah. I still have no idea who they were.
Can you tell? If he has full use of it, absolutely, tell away, mesmerize the masses!
Is said person hot?Is said plant hot? Did I answer your questions with a question?
Yes, as long as ypou throw away the wrappers.
... he deserves a candy bar. Thrown at him.
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