Television

Television. One of the most important and innovative inventions of the 20th Century. America, nay, The World without television would be like a Starbucks without WiFi, a Chick-fil-A sandwich without pickles, or the Sox without Papelbon: Worse, and a lot more boring. Yes, the television has always been America's best friend, filling our living rooms with quality, family friendly, wholesome entertainment.

However...well...nowadays, most of it is shit. Therefore, without further ado ("ado"? What a strange word. Ado.), and in no particular order, a list of television programs according to me in as few words as I can. By the way, none of this could have happened without TiVo.

The Office - one of TV's funniest shows, and dry humor at its driest. We own all 4 seasons that are available on DVD and will soon be buying Season 5. One of the few shows that we still consider Appointment Television (i.e. "I can't do anything tonight at 9, 'The Office' is on." It's an appointment. Capiche?

Daisy of Love - Big stupid men compete for the love of some sort of scary midget woman, I think. I don't watch this one. Let me put it this way: "Daisy of Love" is a spin-off of the unfathomably awful "Rock of Love with Bret Michaels", where Bret has to pick a soul-mate from what I believe is, and correct me if I'm wrong, a group of mentally challenged drunk hookers. "Rock of Love", then, was a spin-off of "I Love New York", where a group of men compete for the love of a stupid, evil, crazy woman, which is just an awful collection of adjectives, eh? "I Love New York" was a spin-off of "Flavor of Love", where ladies compete for the love of a loud, clock and Viking hat wearing elf. "Flavor of Love" was a spin-off of "The Bachelor", where woman compete for the love of a rich, attractive guy. Not sure why I just went into all that length, but I guess you could therefore call "Daisy of Love" a Spin-Off ^ 5.

Scrubs - Extremely funny show that is surprisingly smart for its appearance. I used to think Scrubs was just goofy, rude, and unintelligent humor and I thought it wasn't really for me. After giving it a chance, I realized just how 100% wrong I was. Today, I've seen almost every episode and it's one of my favorite shows. Go figure.

Pawn Stars - A Vegas pawn shop owner haggles over the value of all sorts of weird stuff that people try to sell him. Simple concept, and so far it's actually really interesting. Of course, I showed my mom and brother, and they both thought it was dumb. The lesson, as always: I can't win.

MonsterQuest - A team searches for legendary monsters (i.e. Bigfoot), but never, EVER find anything. Seriously, what the hell, MonsterQuest! You're on for an entire hour and you always find a way to pull me in and you never, ever, ever find anything substantial. I hate you, MonsterQuest.

South Park - Usually humorous, but rarely interesting enough to really pull me in. I don't know. I was never allowed to watch it and I never really got into it.

Psych - Really great show, intelligently combines a comedy and a detective show. Appointment television in our house.

The Daily Show - I watch every episode (Viva la TiVo!) and, well, it's basically how I get my news. I'm not kidding. Is that bad?

Jon & Kate Plus 8 - Seemed a cute enough show at first. I've seen portions once or twice while flipping channels and it seemed OK. Don't understand people's fascination with it, even before Jon and Kate's relationship issues.

The View - I can't have a conversation with my family without being interrupted and spoken over, so whose idea was it to have 5 opinionated women try to do it and then put that on TV?

Wizards of Waverly Place - My brother watches Disney channel. and Nickelodeon. Now he claims that he only does it because nothing good to watch is on and he's bored. Well, sir! Get off the couch, my friend, and discover the world around you! When there's nothing good on TV, guess what I do? I shut it off. I'm simply using "Wizards of Waverly Place" as an example because it is by far the WORST of an ever expanding group of shows such as "iCarly", that "Zach and Cody" show, "Hannah Montana", etc.

Kendra - I'm glad that Kendra, of "The Girls Next Door" fame (Fame? Wow.), was able to find a way to remain on television, because little girls today really need someone to look up to and I'm glad she's answered the call. On a serious note, it's shows like this that make me wonder how this person is on television while I'm not. (oh yeah, boobs. I forgot)

I really liked writing this one. I think I'll make it a more common event. If you read this, please leave a comment with more TV show suggestions that you want me to comment on.

Random Thoughts II

Let's start today with a new segment called "Songs I Am Listening To Over And Over":

- "What is Life?" by George Harrison
- "You Never Give My Your Money" by The Beatles
- "Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight" by The Beatles
- "I Me Mine" by the Beatles
- "Prelude/Angry Young Man" by Billy Joel
- "Allentown" by Billy Joel
- "Crush" by Dave Matthews Band
- "Africa" by Toto

- About a month ago I discovered the power of Pandora radio. I feel like I may be way behind on learning about this. If you don't know what it is, Pandora is an internet radio service where the user enters a song or band that they like, and it responds by creating personalized "radio stations" that play songs and bands that are musically similar to the one the user entered. I primarily use Pandora to listen to Beatles stuff, myself. One thing that bothered me at first was that Pandora only allowed you to use six "skips" per hour, meaning that if you didn't like a song that it played, you could skip it, but only 6 times, limiting the amount of free music you could access, which makes sense. However, I found a simple way around it. What I did was create a bunch of new stations off of certain Beatles songs that I like, and whenever a song I want to skip comes on, I switch to another station and get a new song. Child's play, my friends.

- Yesterday, my family and I watched Alfred Hitchcock's "Vertigo" (which I surprisingly did not enjoy) and my mom mentioned that she missed the days when everyone wore suits and nice hats everywhere. Well, after further thought, I agree! I wish everyone wore hats everywhere. I love hats.

- Whenever I get the exciting job of "sampler" at work, I get to interact with the people of Pheasant Lane's exceptional, high class dining facility, and the amount of people who simply take a free sample without saying thank you astounds me. It's unbelievable. And it got me thinking: When did our society decide that a lack of manners and courtesy was acceptable? Whenever someone grabs a nugget out of my hand and just keeps on silently walking, I want to run after them and snatch it back. You don't deserve it, come back when you learn how to treat people. I know it's something really small and it's not a big deal, but it should be. Am I overthinking this? I don't know. It bugs me.

- The Sox have lost 4 in a row, and are currently losing tonight in Texas, and the Yankees have won 6 in a row and currently hold a 1 & 1/2 game lead in the AL East. Do I have any thoughts on this. No. I don't wanna talk about it.

- The Sox passed up on a trade that would send Clay Buccholz to Cleveland in exchange for Victor Martinez. This news makes me want to wander into traffic.

- Our fridge is not magnetic on the front, but it is on the side. I just thought of this for some reason, and it bothers me. Why make a fridge that's not magenetized? What's wrong with you?

Random Thought for the Day

I want to create an amusement park and call it "Seven Flags" and place it right next door to Six Flags. More Flags, More Fun, right guys? How long would it take for Six Flags to change their slogan? Days? Hours?

Why Listening To Sinatra Is The Best Thing To Listen To While Doing Dishes

It just is.

Try it sometime.

An Extremely Contrived Moment in "Ghost Hunters"

As the "Ghost Hunters" listen to recordings that they made at an 18th Century Irish castle:

GH #1: "Dude, I think I caught something here, you better take a listen to this"

GH #2: "Sure, let me hear it"

*Low static and one moment where the static gets a TINY BIT more static-y*

GH #2: "Dude, something definitely just said 'Rights'".

GH #1: "Yeah, that's what I heard too".

GH #1: "You know, I'm sure many of the people who were locked up in this prison were fighting for their rights"

GH #2: "Oh definitely, that makes total sense!"

*Note: No. It doesn't make sense. Stop making shit up.