*probably not the right words.
Ted C. in Denver: "Hey Matt, why are you blogging?"
Matt: "Well, Ted, the reason I'm blogging is because I have a lot of things to say that I think people would find interesting to read. I'm not sure why I feel this way, considering the amount of people who find my thoughts interesting in person, but I'm hoping the internet can give them a new perspective. I'm an average 18-year-old boy from Massachusetts, I'm semi-intelligent, and, when awake, I have been known to have an occasional humorous comment.
Actually, Ted, to be honest, the reason I'm blogging is because I am 18 years old and mentally chained to the Internet. I spend the better part of my days on Facebook, wishing I had the strength to tear my eyes away from the screen and trying to come to terms with the fact that, No, no one interesting is currently on Facebook Chat. I refuse to use Twitter, though I do have an account there simply to "follow" certain people (Bill Simmons), but I'm not proud of it. Therefore, I have started blogging simply to give me something to do instead of scrubbing the toilets or playing outside."
Frank in The Car: "Hey Matt, long time reader, first time e-mailer. Anyway, I'd like to know why I, or someone like me, should ever read this thing?"
Matt: "Hi Frank, and thanks for writing in. To answer your question, you should read this "thing" if you're bored, online, and/or have a craving for some thoughts from a teenage smart-alec. Or if you personally know me and want to know what I'm up to. Or if you're stalking me. Other than these, I can think of no reason why you would be reading this."
David O. in Boston, MA: "Matt, I finally hit my first home run of the season last night! Did you see it? Whaddaya think? Think I'm gonna start finally hitting the ball consistently now?"
Matt: "Sorry, Papi, but no, I don't. I'm extremely glad that you finally got that first longball out of the way but I'm predicting less than 15 more for the rest of the season. I'm really, really sorry. Thanks for all those clutch hits against the Yanks in '04, and I really enjoyed those 54 bombs in '06, but I'm pretty sure you're home run hitting days have run their course. I really, really hope that I'm wrong about everything I wrote in this paragraph."
Thanks to everyone who took the time to e-mail in. In conclusion, I really hope that someone out there can find this blog at least somewhat interesting and/or amusing and/or intellectually stimulating in some way.
To quote from "Pooh's Grand Adventure":
To those who continue reading, "I salute you. And those of you doomed to never return, I salute you twice!"
