Random Thoughts VI

- I'm always a little confused when companies or nonprofit organizations send me free stuff in the mail, like some return address labels or a nice pen, and then ask for a donation afterward. Shouldn't you send me stuff after I send you money? Do they know that they're doing it backwards? Or are they trying to guilt me into sending money, like "Oh, they sent me a sweet pen, I really should donate". If they continue to run this backwards form of capitalism, I'm never gonna donate. I'm just not.

- I've mentioned before the lack of protocol when it comes to textversations (conversations via texting, pretty self-explanatory I'd say). We need to create a word for a person who, to put it simply, doesn't "ask back". This is when you're texting someone, but the entire textversation consists of you asking questions ("How are you?") and them, answers ("good") BUT without them asking questions in return. It's less of a textversation, and more of a text interview. Texterview? We need to do something about all these texterviewees in our society.

- While we're creating new names for things, I figure this is a good place to put my thoughts regarding what I call "3 Star Restaurants". You all know what I'm talking about. The best way to think about a 3 Star Restaurant is this: They all have different names, different styles, and different menu's, but are essentially the same place. Another way to think about it is that 3 Star Restaurants are the restaurants that 15-20 year olds hit after going to a movie when you have $16 left, but not really a place your parents would go by themselves. I broke down 3 Star Restaurants into the following list:

• Chili's
• Uno's
• T.G.I. Friday's
• Ruby Tuesday's
• Outback
• Applebee's
• The 99
• Ground Round

So there you have it. 3 Star Restaurants. I'm gonna copyright that name.

- Strange phenomenon: When you're at, like, a Bertucci's, and you go into the bathroom and suddenly you realize that Michael Buble is playing and you realize that it has been on in the entire restaurant the whole time, but you didn't notice it until you got to the bathroom where it was quiet, and then you wonder for a second if it's actually only playing in the bathroom and how weird that would be. Am I the only one who thinks of these things? Maybe I should stop typing...

Childhood Games, Stupidity Of

I had a thought today (Go ahead, get it out of your system, "Yay Matt!" "How did that feel?", etc.). The thought was this: Do you remember the game "Mother May I"? Well, it was one of those games kind of like "Simon Says" or "Red Light, Green Light", and, if my memory serves me correctly, it went something kind of like this:

One person was the "Mother". "Mother" stood some distance away from everyone else. Now, the objective of this game is to reach "Mother" and thereby become the new "Mother". One at a time, someone would ask "Mother" if they may come closer, asking in a variety of ways. For example, "Mother may I take 3 baby steps?" or "Mother, may I take 2 giant steps?", etc., at which point "Mother" may reply 'Yes' or 'No'.

Read that last sentence again.



IS THIS NOT THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER HEARD?!?! Holy shit, this blew my mind. Each person needs to ASK the "Mother" if they may come closer and win the game and steal the position of power and "Mother" can just say 'No'!? Are ya' kidding me?! How is this a game?

I feel like this game was totally created by an older sibling as a trick. It's kind of like "The Quiet Game" that parents play with their kids. I can totally see an older sibling saying something like:

"HEY! I have an idea! Let's play a game! You go over there and ask me if you can come closer. If you touch me, you win."
"OK! Can I come closer?"
"No"

Somehow this "game" caught on with other people. I can only imagine that it was passed on from the older sibling to his older sibling buddies, and, through them, it was passed down to the younger sibling, and over time it became a "part of everyone's childhood". But when you think about it...

It's just stupid.