Random Thoughts IV

- You know those moments when you're walking somewhere and you see someone you only sort of know walking towards you, but they are still pretty far away, and you don't want to say anything yet because you only sort of know them and don't really have enough to say to make a full conversation, but you know that they already saw you too, so you both sort of look away and mutually pretend not to have seen the other until you get right up close so you only have to exchange a little "oh, hey man". Well...those moments are weird. How many moments are there like that where two people can, without exchanging any words, mutually agree to lie to each other and just totally accept it?

- You know how when you're at a restaurant, and they give you bread or rolls and butter, and the butter comes in those little cube packages? And you try to spread the butter on the bread and it just rips the bread to pieces? You know what I'm talking about. That butter that restaurants give you that is totally unspreadable. Well, here's my question: Who the hell makes that butter and why do restaurants keep giving it to me? Knock it off, you know better.

- I can't think of many situations more awkward then going to a sit-down restaurant and requesting a "table for one".

- You know how if your name or picture are in the newspaper or something, you cut it out and keep it (or at least your mom does)? Well, at what point does that end if you're a celebrity? If you're Britney Spears, do you own every magazine that you've been on the cover of? Does Jon Gosselin's mom have a box in the attic full of tabloids that feature him? That would seem weird, no?

- Who was the first person to create a fake plant? My mom always has fake tulips in the kitchen, and even next to me right now is a big....just...plant. It's not really a bush, and it's certainly not a tree or flower, it's just a mass of leaves, kind of. Who started this? Who's brilliant idea was it to create a plastic plant to put in living rooms and libraries, etc.?

Things I've Been Doing Instead of Blogging

In no particular order:

-Playing my guitar. This one actually is in order because I do it constantly. It's a phenomenal distraction.

-Playing FarmVille. I've been saying for, like, 3 weeks now that I'm going to get rid of it but I haven't yet. It's like a drug, and, just like Huey Lewis, I want a new one.

-Looking at myself in the mirror. This is, 1. because I'm strikingly handsome (ask anyone!), and 2. because I am participating in No Shave November. Which was...dumb of me.

-Standing. I'm really good at it. Chances are you are too.

-Doing homework. This takes up a small percentage of my time, but it's in there.

-Cleaning my room. This actually happens only about once a week, usually Saturday or Sunday afternoon when everyone goes missing mysteriously. You know what I'm talking about. All your friends suddenly start disappearing without telling you where they're going so you're all alone for a bit. Anyway, this is when my room gets cleaned. And I do laundry. I should actually do laundry now. But I won't.

-Procrastinating. The other day I heard this quote: "Procrastination is a lot like masturbation. It feels good at first, but, in the end, you're just fucking yourself". This was certainly life-changing.

-Sleeping.

-Going to class.

-Sleeping in class.

-Eating all of my roommates peanut butter crackers. He really shouldn't have showed me where they were, so therefore it's partially his fault.

-Listening to other people's relationship problems. I'm a good listener. Not so good at giving advice once they're done talking, but hot damn I can listen.

-Listening to The Beatles. I do it a lot.

-Playing Fantasy Football. And doing....decently.

-Multi-tasking

-Tying my shoes.

-Still contemplating why we are required to have a landline phone in here.

-Serving as self-apointed coach on multiple intramural teams. Our intramurals so far have gone as follows: Flag Football: 1-6, Co-Ed Softball: 1-4, Floor Hockey: 0-4 (so far) Water Polo: 0-1(so far). I have no reasonable explanation as to why a group of seemingly semi-athletic 18 year old boys can be so...awful.

-Texting. Texting has become so ingrained in our generation, I can not imagine life without it. Is that bad? I'm not sure.

Hopefully I will be able to find the time (will. determination. drive.) to blog more from now on. But don't quote me on that.

College, Questions Concerning

If there is someone in your hall with the last name Quinn, wouldn't it be natural that you call him "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman"?

Why does my History professor think he is so hilarious when no one else thinks so? Where does he get these preposterous ideas? This seems like something that would be stifled during childhood.

If your room has 5 enormous Beatles posters on the walls and someone walks in and asks "So...do you like the Beatles?", is it OK to hurl things at them?

If someone brings a girl to guy's poker night, how many days should you shun them?

If your roommate uses every sentence to comment on how perfect his girlfriend is, at what point can you start stealing his stuff?

If you have a 3 page paper to write, should you be blogging?

If you forget all of your ankle-high socks at home and only have ones that stretch 3/4 up your shins, do you wear them and risk looking like a loser or do you just go without socks?

If you have 5 posters on your wall but your roommate still has none, at what point can you officially conclude that he is a weirdo?

Why did 5 people in our hall decide that this weekend would be the time to bring some Double-Stuf Oreo's? I'm not complaining or anything, but it was a little freaky.

Why do we have to have a land line phone in our room? It seems useless.

If you are a Calculas professor and you lost one of your hands in an accident a few years back but had it reattached, should you share this with your class? Or should you just keep it to yourself because it may be all that the class is able to focus on from now on?

Why does every girl know how to iron clothing? Again, I'm not complaining.

If someone in your hall brings a large plant to school and names it, should you be friends with this person? Should you be friends with the plant?

If you keep a large jar of Starburst on your desk, are you just asking me to eat them all?

If your roommate calls everyone his "best friend", including a Dell operator from the Philippines by the name of Nim.....I don't even have a question here.

That's A Stumper...Part 2

If George Washington was around today, would he be more amazed by the fact that the nation's capital, a state, and a monument all bear his name, or by the concept of a corndog?

That's A Stumper...

Did Adam and Eve have navels?

Random Thoughts III

-Songs I Am Listening To Over And Over:

- "Dance Tonight" by Paul McCartney

- "Point of Know Return" - by Kansas

- "Get Back" - by The Beatles (Currently my favorite song. Tell your friends)

- I got my hair cut today. I realized that I always think I look my best in the mirror while getting my hair cut. It's not even about the hair. I just look better there. Am I losing my mind? Possibly.

- You know the song, "You like potato and I like potahto, You like tomato and I like tomahto. · Potato, potahto, Tomato, tomahto, Let's call the whole thing off"? I was thinking about it the other day and thought, "Wait.....who says 'tomahto'?" Nobody. My point: ...not sure I have one.

- If I went back in time to the 1970's and showed everyone "That 70's Show" do you think it would be funny? I thought about this for a good lenth of time and am completely stumped.

The Sweet Tea Scale:

- McDonalds: the sweetest of sweet tea. Plus 32 oz is only $1. However, if the sweet tea container is behind the counter and the employees fill your cup for you, beware, as it is often not so good.

-Chick-fil-A: a close second, only because it has a stronger "tea" taste. Plus it costs way more than Mickey D's.

-Dunkin's: Inexplicably not good. Hard to explain. On a scale where "super sweet" is a 10 and "unsweet" is a 0, Dunk's is like a 3.

-HoneyDew: Lacks...oh, what's the word...oh yeah, sugar. Avoid it. I learned this today, which propted this paragraph. On the above mentioned scale, it would be a -7.

Television

Television. One of the most important and innovative inventions of the 20th Century. America, nay, The World without television would be like a Starbucks without WiFi, a Chick-fil-A sandwich without pickles, or the Sox without Papelbon: Worse, and a lot more boring. Yes, the television has always been America's best friend, filling our living rooms with quality, family friendly, wholesome entertainment.

However...well...nowadays, most of it is shit. Therefore, without further ado ("ado"? What a strange word. Ado.), and in no particular order, a list of television programs according to me in as few words as I can. By the way, none of this could have happened without TiVo.

The Office - one of TV's funniest shows, and dry humor at its driest. We own all 4 seasons that are available on DVD and will soon be buying Season 5. One of the few shows that we still consider Appointment Television (i.e. "I can't do anything tonight at 9, 'The Office' is on." It's an appointment. Capiche?

Daisy of Love - Big stupid men compete for the love of some sort of scary midget woman, I think. I don't watch this one. Let me put it this way: "Daisy of Love" is a spin-off of the unfathomably awful "Rock of Love with Bret Michaels", where Bret has to pick a soul-mate from what I believe is, and correct me if I'm wrong, a group of mentally challenged drunk hookers. "Rock of Love", then, was a spin-off of "I Love New York", where a group of men compete for the love of a stupid, evil, crazy woman, which is just an awful collection of adjectives, eh? "I Love New York" was a spin-off of "Flavor of Love", where ladies compete for the love of a loud, clock and Viking hat wearing elf. "Flavor of Love" was a spin-off of "The Bachelor", where woman compete for the love of a rich, attractive guy. Not sure why I just went into all that length, but I guess you could therefore call "Daisy of Love" a Spin-Off ^ 5.

Scrubs - Extremely funny show that is surprisingly smart for its appearance. I used to think Scrubs was just goofy, rude, and unintelligent humor and I thought it wasn't really for me. After giving it a chance, I realized just how 100% wrong I was. Today, I've seen almost every episode and it's one of my favorite shows. Go figure.

Pawn Stars - A Vegas pawn shop owner haggles over the value of all sorts of weird stuff that people try to sell him. Simple concept, and so far it's actually really interesting. Of course, I showed my mom and brother, and they both thought it was dumb. The lesson, as always: I can't win.

MonsterQuest - A team searches for legendary monsters (i.e. Bigfoot), but never, EVER find anything. Seriously, what the hell, MonsterQuest! You're on for an entire hour and you always find a way to pull me in and you never, ever, ever find anything substantial. I hate you, MonsterQuest.

South Park - Usually humorous, but rarely interesting enough to really pull me in. I don't know. I was never allowed to watch it and I never really got into it.

Psych - Really great show, intelligently combines a comedy and a detective show. Appointment television in our house.

The Daily Show - I watch every episode (Viva la TiVo!) and, well, it's basically how I get my news. I'm not kidding. Is that bad?

Jon & Kate Plus 8 - Seemed a cute enough show at first. I've seen portions once or twice while flipping channels and it seemed OK. Don't understand people's fascination with it, even before Jon and Kate's relationship issues.

The View - I can't have a conversation with my family without being interrupted and spoken over, so whose idea was it to have 5 opinionated women try to do it and then put that on TV?

Wizards of Waverly Place - My brother watches Disney channel. and Nickelodeon. Now he claims that he only does it because nothing good to watch is on and he's bored. Well, sir! Get off the couch, my friend, and discover the world around you! When there's nothing good on TV, guess what I do? I shut it off. I'm simply using "Wizards of Waverly Place" as an example because it is by far the WORST of an ever expanding group of shows such as "iCarly", that "Zach and Cody" show, "Hannah Montana", etc.

Kendra - I'm glad that Kendra, of "The Girls Next Door" fame (Fame? Wow.), was able to find a way to remain on television, because little girls today really need someone to look up to and I'm glad she's answered the call. On a serious note, it's shows like this that make me wonder how this person is on television while I'm not. (oh yeah, boobs. I forgot)

I really liked writing this one. I think I'll make it a more common event. If you read this, please leave a comment with more TV show suggestions that you want me to comment on.